A little Kid Rock there to get the party started.
So, I wanna be a cowboy. Who doesn’t. Have you ever seen John Wayne swagger? When you swagger like that, people think one of two things – either he has jock-itch, or he’s a bad, bad dude. And the way he says “Pil-grum.” ** swoon ** It’s man-love at first sight (you know, where you shake a hand and do that little one-armed half-hug).
So, what’s brought this kind of talk on, you ask? Winchester. The Winchester 1300 Defender pump-action 12-gauge shotgun, to be exact. Here’s a picture if you’re interested.
But alas! My wife, Emma, is all up in arms (pun intended) over my newfound love affair. I mean, I understand her concern and all. She’s witnessed me fall out of a chair, trip over my own pants, and hurt myself in the most amazing ways. She knows about the time I accidentally drilled a hole through the side of our house. But let’s put that aside for a moment. I grew up in the country on a farm. My brother and I learned about guns at a very early age. In fact, I think my dad gave me a new .410 single-shot shotgun when I was just 12 years old. I loved that thing. I really do know what I’m doing around guns.
I like to look at the practical side of things. Crime is up in this town, and our mayor and city council don’t have a clue. They’re more concerned about setting up a citizen review board to knit-pick what our boys-in-blue do rather than coming up with ways to combat escalating violent crime. (Just as an aside, if you want to cut crime, I think you should start giving cops the authority to shoot anyone that has their pants hanging off their butt. It would send a message. That’s all I’m saying.)
I’m very concerned with protecting my family. Emma doesn’t quite understand that. The way I figure it, the reason she doesn’t understand is because she’s not the one in charge of protecting said family. That falls on the man of the house. I literally lose sleep over this some nights. I’m pretty sure that the sight of me in my underwear at 2-o’clock in the morning is not going to be enough to stop someone that breaks into our house. Although, I could be wrong. It seems to stop my wife all the time!
I’m going to keep working on her. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.
Pil-grum.
